Sunday 23 December 2012


I had a really vivid dream (nightmare) last night, not much of it made sense in terms of a plot or storyline but it's been a stone in my heart all day. It involved unintended harsh words spoken by me, to a child I know to begin with (the horror). Then marching in a crowd around and around in circles, feeling a a growing sense of despair, the faces in the swirling crowd unapproving and judgemental, including that of the child's mother. Until finally, a kind word to ask if I was ok and I completely and utterly broke down. Uncontrollable sobbing in the dream and, in waking. It really was awful. What to make of it?

In reflecting on 2012, I can't help but feel like I've spent much of it chasing something out of reach. I long for a time that I might feel still, my heart whole, with our home full of children. So many things hang in the balance of trying for a baby. But another year passes, too many painful memories with it, so maybe it's time to look at things a different way. 

Time is needed now for perspective, for rest and renewal with family and friends. This time last year, I sat quietly by the ocean with my great love. And, with his gentle persuasion and complete faith in me, I decided to start blogging.  It has helped me to live in the present and be grateful for what I have and served to remind me just how lucky I am. And gosh, I really am blessed in SO many ways. When disappointment and loss tries to consume you, this can be the only thing that keeps you afloat.

This space here is something I'm so very proud of. For once, I've followed through on an idea, a dream that was purely for me. Something that has given me so much fulfillment and joy already. I don't have scores of followers, I'm never going to be in it for that, but the process of writing regularly and capturing images alone has done something to provide that balance I was (still am) yearning for. This blog has already gifted me with such special connections, people I may have never met or friends I may never have truly gotten to know if not for this space. Wonderful people who inspire me an awful lot. 

So, my deepest gratitude to you for joining me here over this past year. You may never know just how much I've appreciated your company. How each lovely comment and email have really filled my heart. Thank you.

I wish you and yours a wonderful Festivus, a year to come that's full of your wildest dreams, the biggest belly laughs, lots of loud music and big, big love.

Belinda x


  1. Hope your wishes come true some day.
    Blogging is a wonderfull way to keep our memories real.
    I wish you a magical new year!!

    1. So true, Ines. I didn't quite realise what I was in for when I started blogging. I'm glad I did!
      Thank you for visiting and your lovely comment, wishing you all the very best in 2013! Belinda x

  2. Merry Christmas to you, Belinda. And big love too. So happy to have met you this year and be able to read along on your adventure. xxx

    1. Oh Greer, same here! A highlight. Thanks so much, enjoy Christmas with your beautiful family. Belinda xx

  3. Yule is my maiden name so this one caught my eye ;-)


Thanks for your comment, so nice to hear from you. Belinda x

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