The 52 Project - A portrait a week

It's been quiet here. Wonderfully, beautifully, oh, so quiet. 

Something that I seem to always be reminded of at this time of year, when there is room to slow down and reflect, is just how blessed I am and how important it is to appreciate that in the moment. In the face of the stressful or trying times, more in spite of them! 

What has really struck a chord with me lately is the truth that "these are the good old days". As we continue our journey to try and fill this house with children, I'm aiming to try not to focus on what we don't have, to not take our treasures here and now for granted. 

I'm aiming to put my marriage first this year. Before trying for a baby, before work, I'm putting Richard at the top of my priority list.  He's already waaay up there, he's amazing and we have a sublime life together. Our marriage is something I'm most proud of and grateful for. I want him to always know just how much I appreciate him, how much he makes me a better version of myself, how drop dead handsome I think he is! 

Even when, especially when, there are more mountains to climb yet, in order to reach our dream to become parents together. To give the Little One (my darling step-daughter) brothers/sisters.

It's easy to say all this whilst on holidays, lazy days by the sea easily fill my heart and mind with idealistic aspirations. I told Rich I needed something to hold onto this feeling of clarity and perspective throughout the year. When the weather cools, when work gets crazy busy, when life throws in a few flying kicks.

So, I'm participating in the 52 Series project, led by Jodi and Ché and Fidel. I will post a portrait each week of Richard; and our life together. Jodi and the wonderfully talented Rebekka Seale have created the gorgeous new button you'll find in my sidebar. I'm excited about taking on a year long challenge. One which will inspire my photography practice and best of all, serve as a constant reminder to cherish our marriage, these good old days that we're lucky enough to be sharing together.

A warning; it may very well get cheesy from time to time. Such is my nature as a hopeless romantic! I hope you'll enjoy following along none-the-less!

Belinda x

PS. I plan to link all of my 52 posts to the button on the side-bar. And will do, once I figure out how! 

2013

Happy New Year from elsieandjoan on Vimeo.

A new year, charged with promise. I wonder what she has in store for us.

I wish you all the happiness.

Belinda x

Reflection

I had a really vivid dream (nightmare) last night, not much of it made sense in terms of a plot or storyline but it's been a stone in my heart all day. It involved unintended harsh words spoken by me, to a child I know to begin with (the horror). Then marching in a crowd around and around in circles, feeling a a growing sense of despair, the faces in the swirling crowd unapproving and judgemental, including that of the child's mother. Until finally, a kind word to ask if I was ok and I completely and utterly broke down. Uncontrollable sobbing in the dream and, in waking. It really was awful. What to make of it?

In reflecting on 2012, I can't help but feel like I've spent much of it chasing something out of reach. I long for a time that I might feel still, my heart whole, with our home full of children. So many things hang in the balance of trying for a baby. But another year passes, too many painful memories with it, so maybe it's time to look at things a different way. 

Time is needed now for perspective, for rest and renewal with family and friends. This time last year, I sat quietly by the ocean with my great love. And, with his gentle persuasion and complete faith in me, I decided to start blogging.  It has helped me to live in the present and be grateful for what I have and served to remind me just how lucky I am. And gosh, I really am blessed in SO many ways. When disappointment and loss tries to consume you, this can be the only thing that keeps you afloat.

This space here is something I'm so very proud of. For once, I've followed through on an idea, a dream that was purely for me. Something that has given me so much fulfillment and joy already. I don't have scores of followers, I'm never going to be in it for that, but the process of writing regularly and capturing images alone has done something to provide that balance I was (still am) yearning for. This blog has already gifted me with such special connections, people I may have never met or friends I may never have truly gotten to know if not for this space. Wonderful people who inspire me an awful lot. 

So, my deepest gratitude to you for joining me here over this past year. You may never know just how much I've appreciated your company. How each lovely comment and email have really filled my heart. Thank you.

I wish you and yours a wonderful Festivus, a year to come that's full of your wildest dreams, the biggest belly laughs, lots of loud music and big, big love.

Belinda x

All of the lights

We have some serious Griswolds in our neighbourhood. 

It amazes me the lengths some people go to, especially when the result can be a bit of an assault on the senses. Neon, dancing, flashing, flying, climbing, hot air ballooning, sleigh driving, motorcycle riding, saxophone playing Santas.

But oh, how she loved it. There were quite a few cars filled with pyjama clad kids, parents driving slowly from house to lit up house. Squeals of delight and discovery filling the air. I kind of loved it, too!

Belinda x

* Post title: Kanye